Indiana Jones and the Eternal Explanations

This is not a review for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, though for the record, Harrison Ford (left) and Shia Laboeuf (right, channeling Marlon Brando in Wild One) couldn't unhash this rehash of the series plots.

This is about what over-explaining can do to an action film:

"Indy, we need to run from the bad guys."

"Yes, but first you need to know why they're bad."

"Indy, we need to find the source of the crystal skull."

"Yes, but did you know who made the crystal skull and why it's dangerous?"

"Indy, run. Now."

"Yes, look how that tribe recalls the splendor of the Mayan empire. Speaking of Mayans..."

But I'm the Rubbermaid calling the kettle container "Tupperware." My play Consent bogs down with similar yakking scenes. At the time, they seemed necessary, but now they're like C-Span documentaries gone wild. Especially with Indy's example on the big screen.

Out comes the virtual scissors. Cut, cut, cut those scenes.